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The 5 People You Will Meet At The Bar This Saturday

 

Drunk-Main

Drinking at a pub is a enormous entertainment for many reasons. Trust me; it is more entertaining than watching a movie or watching robots, Wrestlers match! Why, you ask? You get to see the “real” person behind the everyday corporate honcho, or the tax collector or even the next door baby sitter! Here are 5 people you meet at a bar who will reveal their true colors after getting high-

1. The Blabbering Flamingo

A drink or two can get some people talking so much, that, you wait for him to stop for a breath so that you can go from behind and just gag the living lights out of him! A blabbering flamingo has a deep throat and talks out loud for everyone to hear about his mindless stories. That random person next to you at the bar — why not tell them all about that crush you have that you’re secretly hoping to sleep with later tonight while you wait for your drinks? Oh, and you know all those humiliating, supposed-to-be-private things you wouldn’t ever dream of letting another human being know? It’s time to let the bird fly! Ladies and Gentlemen, The “Blabbering Flamingo” (Patent pending).

2. Always on a shift guy-

Yes, they are always on a shift! This is the guy or girl who just finished up his/her shift, and is having a nice sip of tequila to cool down the rage he/she has gathered in the work place. What do you get out a drunk, enraged 9-5pm employee? An even more enraged employee, who thinks that he/she, has just won the lottery! Lucky for the bartender, coz his pockets will be full by just listening to the tool!

3. The wannabe “Neta”

A drunk wannabe politician? You think, maybe he will be the “change”. NO he is not! So do you think the ruling party is doing justice to the country? That’s it bro, you had it! If you ask this question or, even if a snippet of a politician pops out of the television, you had it. The wannabe Neta, will get into the mood of a live parliament session (In his head, he is actually in “The parliament”) and start criticizing each and every politician as if he knows him/her personally! How to find out if your wannabe Neta has mellowed down? That’s easy! Wait for him to actually start complimenting the works of a politician and,abracadabra, he is no more a flight risk!

4. The cry baby

Someone said something innocuous that you misinterpreted as an insult? Why not sob in their general direction in between outbursts of “Why do you hate me SOOO MUCH!?!”  Isn’t it just lovely! The cry baby has a tear duct filled with alcohol and it pours out every time you make him/her drink! Why does he hate me so much? Why did my boss yell at me? My ketchup bottle didn’t open today and, I had to eat the eggs without it.  All these and much more! The cry baby is definitely one of the first who you will meet in a bar.

5. The Mike Tyson

What the fuck did you just say?It’s time to misconstrue everything you see/hear as a personal attack until you’re essentially trying to slap everyone within a 15-foot radius in the face for looking at you with bitch eyes. Sound familiar? This guy (Or, you maybe!) is the Popeye of the drunkard world! He gets his strength after drinking and become a hybrid of Tyson+ Popeye! A flight risk any day of the year!  Stay away!

Drinking is injurious to health because of the reasons mentioned above! Everyone becomes a wannabe neta, the Mike Tyson, The cry baby, The Blabbering Flamingo, or, even the always on a shift guy once or even on numerous occasions. But, some get beaten up while doing so. It’s a risk to be one but, everyone wants to try one time to become completely insane! This is your chance people. Be insane for a day, without going into a loony bin! Drink responsibly.

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©Arjun Karath for PosterGully.com

supersaviour@gmail.com

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