Hello Readers!! How is life for you?
I’m all set for diwali and am loving the pre winters feel. So I welcome you all again to another round of hot-shot, mad,madder,maddest discussion this time about
^ *Funny Things In The Elevator*
This one has been up as a special request from one of my favorite people at the office!! So I began observing people and finally came up with the following detailed observations!
*The Busy Syndrome*
Every freaking body would agree on this that most of the antics that we take up in the elevator are goofed up! Looking at the watch,the notepad in the hand, the so important conversation going on in the phone. It is just to portray that I am so busy like you. I think it is generally to avoid the awkwardness of having an eye contact with different people who you know or are acquaintances.
So once what happened I was waiting for the elevator to come down at the ground floor and I saw this really “chep” person near the elevator , who I actually try to avoid a lot because he just starts with a conversation and doesn’t end it at all. He just starts speaking and I start nodding and that’s all we do.
So just when we were about to enter the elevator I put my phone on my ear and began to act as if I was on a call. I smiled to him and greeted and began acting as if I was deep in a conversation and to my utter un luck , my phone started to buzz and sing! Loud! On top of it’s voice!
I just picked the call and acted as if I was in this real deep conversation and then made a swift exit.
I had to actually avoid the guy a lot more after that!
* Lemme Just Check You Out *
So again all of us would agree that while we have no actual work to do in the elevator , the best task that we do is to check out other people! From the hair to the stubble to the scarf to the overdone make up to the blouse to the so hot skirt to the shoes to the heels to the socks to the design on the shoes.
I do that a lot. A lot and a lot! Everyone does a lot of this!
So while we are busy doing this and we get overtly engrossed in it. We often lose track of the actual task. To move from one floor to the other.
Once I saw this guy enter the elevator with me and the swarm of other people , he requested someone to press “5″ for him. And then I noticed that he was noticing the same girl I was checking out deeply. She wore some fancy clothes and was sipping on the ice tea from Costa very gladly. The guy got so engrossed in the checking out that he lost track of what floor he was and eventually stepped out at the 7th floor with me in embarrassment! I almost tore into a spontaneous laughter while I stepped out.
Ghoorne pe manayi nahi hai , par ghoor ke behosh ho jana to sarasar bewakoofi hai!
So next time you’re busy noticing someone’s skirt make sure she is standing next to the access buttons so that you get to see the floor that you are on.
* The Smell Attack *
This one is the most frequent and the most embarrassing out of all the things that happen in elevators. FART!!
People usually tend to become more gassy while in the elevators or it’s probably that I have met people going to attend the nature’s call on some other floor so often. But that is probably one of the reasons why the elevators have room freshner sprays on timers inside.
You’d go unnoticed if you’re in a group of people in the elevator but what when you’re alone? You have the liberty to feel free? HELL NO!!!
Once I and my friend were waiting for the elevator and then when it came to us, we say a petite lady inside. Just within 2 seconds of entering we came in terms with the lady’s enormous bowel power.
A huge blob of gas and smell burst open. Because there was no one else in the elevator before we came in. We knew whose cheeks were to be blamed. It was as if she thought no one’s gonna come in lelt me get done with the business right now and them BAM to her embarrassment we entered.
She started to act puzzled immediately as if it was some new phenomena she had tackled. I and my friend looked at each other in the eyes at the same time, covered our nose with hands and pressed the button for the immediate next floor and left the lady to analyse the odour in silence!
This was probably the first time that I and my friend didn’t need the ” Aada Paada Kisne Paada “game to settle who was to be given chops.
* Please spare the make up for SOMETIME better *
Ladies who are avid make up fans , this is a humble request from us guys to you. Please do not do the necessary touch ups to your make up in the elevators.
1.) We might just have some fresh opinion about the lipstick that you’re using! Pink might go better with beige skirt than your brown!
2.) We might just know the secret to that blemish you covered up with the layer of foundation!
3.) We might want to ask you to the gross weight with make up and the net weight!
4.) Between all this we might forget the floor we had to go to or we might just skip our floors.!
So readers that is all for this time! If you have some better experiences in the elevators please post them in the comments section. I would love to read them and here is a sincere advise to all the ladies especially, when it comes to elevators.
PLEASE USE the elevators ladies!! I LOVE PLUMP WOMEN!!!! They’re sexy in their own way. And the worst part is they Don’t know it!! Like Mahi’s Way!!
©Vinod Ahuja for PosterGully.com