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Five Awesome (and Terrifying) Joker Quotes


Joker is, without a doubt, the most beloved of all Batman villains. Immortalised by Heath Ledger in The Dark Knight, Joker is one of the most complex characters in the fictional universe. While Scarecrow, Bane, Mr Freeze etc present a formidable challenge, they are defined by motives, goals and ideologies that are comprehensible. Joker, in the form most familiar to us, is chaos in all its primordial, uninhibited, terrifying glory. He’s on a perpetual free fall into madness and the scary part? He loves the ride. Here are five awesome (and terrifying) Joker quotes from the canon:

1. “Residents of Joker Asylum are all required to follow one simple rule. Failure to follow this rule will be punished by death, no ‘ifs’, ‘ands’, or ‘buts’. And do you know the best part about the rule? It’s a secret!” - Batman: Arkham Asylum

2. “Tell me, Bats. What are you really scared of? Failing to save this cesspool of a city? Not finding the Commissioner in time? Me, in a thong?!” [laughs] - Batman: Arkham Asylum

3. “It’s true Batsy. I know everything, and kinda like the boy who opens his Christmas presents early, I must admit, it’s sadly anti-climatic. Behind all the stern and the batarangs, you’re just a little boy in a playsuit crying for mommy and daddy. It would be funny if it weren’t so pathetic…… Oh what the heck, I’ll laugh anyway. HA! HA! HA! HA! HAAAA!” - Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker

4. “Ladies and Gentlemen! You’ve read about it in the papers! Now witness, before your very eyes, that most rare and tragic of nature’s mistakes! I give you: the average man. Physically unremarkable, it instead possesses a deformed set of values. Notice the hideously bloated sense of humanity’s importance. Also note the club-footed social conscience and the withered optimism. It’s certainly not for the squeamish, is it? Most repulsive of all, are its frail and useless notions of order and sanity. If too much weight is placed upon them… they snap. How does it live, I hear you ask? How does this poor pathetic specimen survive in today’s harsh and irrational environment? I’m afraid the sad answer is, “Not very well.” Faced with the inescapable fact that human existence is mad, random, and pointless, one in eight of them crack up and go stark slavering buggo! Who can blame them? In a world as psychotic as this… any other response would be crazy!” - Batman: The Killing Joke

5. “The real joke is your stubborn, bone deep conviction that somehow, somewhere, all of this makes sense! That’s what cracks me up each time!” - Batman # 681


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©Neha Yadav for

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Life-lessons from Hollywood Rom-Coms


Romantic Comedies, or Rom-Coms as they are colloquially known, are one of the most derided genres in Hollywood. Men scoff at the mere mention of them, women are supposed to swoon and studio executives churn them out by the sack full in the hopes of making assured money. In the gilded world of the Romantic Comedy universe that is clearly set in a galaxy far, far away, everything conspires to bring together our blandly handsome hero and our air-brushed perfection of a heroine. Here are some life-lessons that these movies offer to what they clearly consider a naive, sheep-like audience:

  • The most attractive quality a woman can possess is clumsiness. Not independence, wit, charm, kindness or ambition, oh no. One of the sure-fire ways of spotting the female lead is to look for the woman who manages to trip on a smooth, bare floor while looking adorable. Here’s a YouTube compilation for your viewing pleasure-


  • The two implausibly photogenic leads meet in the cutest circumstances which will make for a good story at the wedding reception. Either he sees her angelic face fortuitously in a video stored on a camera he has to repair (Wicker Park) or she falls in love with his many virtues while they pursue her boyfriend through picturesque Ireland (Leap Year) or she falls into his arms by accident and subtlety be damned.


  • A relationship can be clinched only after a grand declaration of love. Either it’s standing at the beloved’s bedroom window with a boom box or crashing her wedding to declare your undying love or kissing her on a spectator-filled baseball field or tearing madly through airport security to stop her departing plane.


  • There will be an odd assortment of people artistically positioned throughout the leads’ life with very specific roles to play. The heroine has a plain or definitely less-pretty best friend whose only job in the world seems to be to passive-aggressively disapprove of the male lead and dispense sage love advice. There is most likely a sassy black doorman or hotdog-vender or landlord to provide colour. Maybe even a lovelorn, bespectacled geeky male who is there to make the hero look more desirable.

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©Neha Yadav for